May 19, 2011


Three days ago, I had my smart phone, my smart wife, and my smart job. My life made sense. Today the world was ending, and I couldn’t find my shoes. I’m losing control of my life, my mind and myself. I’m dying inside and the past few weeks its been just peaks and valleys. All I have left of my pitiful existence is a ragged sleeping bag, a pair of rusty goggles, some red lipstick and a chipped cinder block in my trunk covered in blood.

Life was simpler before I met her. I knew who I was, where I was, I had a grand plan. From the moment Dom entered my office my life took a turn for the worst – She ruined everything. Life is all about trade-offs and i apparently traded with a blindfold. For the past three weeks i had been on the run with the only evidence that could save my life or condemn me to hell. My pursuers it seemed, was generally trying to do their best to kill me all of the time. I hadn’t shaven in 4 days or slept in two. My boyish looks had long since gone and now i resembled a man that had lived a hardened life. The light coating of dirt, mixed with my sweat, had done more to give me a tanned look than any spa or beach. Wrinkles lined my face like lines on a map – the map of my life.

As I approached my target my pace slowed. I found my eyes sweeping left then right, up then down. Every hair on my body stood on end bristling like a porcupine cornered. It was hard to explain how hard this was, how debilitating mentally and physically. I had no training, no weapon, no idea about what was going to happen next. The slightest misstep and there would be nothing. Death. All I knew is that I wanted my life back and Dominique was the reset button.

A figure exited the house, it wasn’t her. I slipped off the road and behind a tree, twilight providing just enough shadow to be invisible. A figured rounded the structure, climbed into a car and sped past me. I turned my attention back to the house and noticed an economy of movement through the glass. I was close enough now to hear voices, her voice. It all came flooding back to me now. Less than fifteen feet away was my damnation or salvation. I leaned forward and gently broke the window which would assist in my redemption. As I removed just enough glass to work the lock my heart seemed to be beating faster than it had ever done before. I could visualize my adrenal gland just opening up, flooding my bloodstream with adrenaline. I took one quick peep inside and slid down, I should have taken two. All my life I followed my mothers primary rule: Always look both ways when crossing the street. Everything I did in life was premised on this rule. For the second time in my life I would fail to heed mothers warning and it would cost me dearly. As my feet touched the floor, pain assaulted every fiber of my being. Then Nothing.


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