Marriage is in TroubleAs everyone knows by now New York State legalized gay marriage, thus signaling the end of the traditional marriage and traditional family. Marriage as an institution was already on the decline. Over the last 40 years, married couples declined from 67 percent of the population to a mere 23 percent. When an institution so central to human experience and learning changes shape in the space of a generation shouldn’t we be trying to fix the problem instead of expanding the failing criteria?

I am not against the notion of LGBT’s being in relationships, but with the destruction of marriage. How are we as parents supposed to teach our kids to value the very institution that helped expand human society to this point. The issue at hand is not about rights, equality, race or gender, but about the idea of marriage as being the primary vehicle of socialization of ones offspring. No one is stopping LGBT’s from being in exclusive relationships. We are talking about protecting the very definition of marriage, the union between a man and a woman. God created Man and Woman for this very reason.

Most social conservatives and others who oppose same-sex marriage argue that marriage between a man and a woman is the bedrock of a healthy society because it leads to stable families and, ultimately, to children who grow up to be productive adults. Allowing gay and lesbian couples to wed, they contend, will radically redefine marriage and further weaken it at a time when the institution is already in serious trouble due to high divorce rates and a significant number of out-of-wedlock births. Moreover, many predict that giving gay couples the right to marry will ultimately lead to granting people in polygamous and other nontraditional relationships the right to marry as well.

Whatever its political, social, spiritual or symbolic appeal is, marriage is not required or necessary for people to have sex or companionship. Marriage is an institution that states to all that witness it, that a man and a woman have made a commitment to foster offspring. This is before man chose to play Demi-God and create birth control. Before one can truly understand marriage, you need to understand the history behind it. Even though marriage is on the decline – marriage still remains revered and desired. Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life. It’s like the ultimate merit badge.  

Data from the 2010 Census states that: Nearly 40 percent of marriageable people think marriage is obsolete but yet only 5 percent of those same people expressed a desire to NOT be married during their life. Another interesting fact is that 70 percent of all Americans of marrying age have been married at least once. Eight times as many children are born out of wedlock than compared to 1960. People are more likely to marry others in the same socioeconomic position as themselves. This is a big shift to maintaining economic lines static and not flexible and has more to do with divorce and court rulings.

While battles have been raging in many states over whether to accept or ban same-sex marriage, a number of states have enacted laws that establish civil unions or domestic partnerships, both of which aim to give gay and lesbian couples many or most of the rights and responsibilities of matrimony without actually granting them the right to wed. Civil unions were first created in Vermont in response to a 1999 ruling by the Vermont Supreme Court ordering the state legislature to provide same-sex couples.

I am just waiting for the real test of marriage to be sent before the Supreme Court of the United States. The union of multiple parties to a single individual, commonly referred to as Polygamy. For if the states can allow two people the right to wed with no clear intention of supporting the very BASIC TENET of marriage, that of procreation; how are they to stop the union of multiples. Given how hard it is for so many people to find (and stay in) satisfying, long-term relationships in this day and age, I personally tend to think someone that wishes to share or co-habitat with multiple spouses should be allowed to.

Anyway, what do you guys think about all this? Do any of these factoids surprise you? Relieve you? Dismay you? 

How do you feel about marriage? Is getting married important to you? Or are you skeptical of it as an institution? Do you think we’d all be a lot happier if our relationships were less teleological — meaning, if we were less focused on getting married and more concerned with making sure our relationships are pleasant and engaging on a day-to-day level? Should we be with partners who encourage us to reach our potential and change in all sorts of ways — and does remaining outside of a marriage ensure more flexibility? Or is it really within a committed long-term relationship that we are most likely to bloom and grow?

I would like to hear from you.


Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. ‘marriage as being the primary vehicle of socialization of ones offspring.’ This is flawed. I don’t think a child is moved by a piece of paper that has signatures on it more than an example of a committed and equitable relationship shared between two people. That’s is the example children need. Socializing our children in the ways of exclusion and seperatism is wrong and keeps us marking time at a time where progression and new thinking is sorely needed.

    ‘BASIC TENET of marriage, that of procreation’ Does this mean that people who cannot create children should not be allowed to be married. Do couples who are healthy enough to have children but decide against them, lose their rights? Does someone or death row, or a child molester or rapist deserve rights that aren’t afforded to a law abiding citizens?

    • Marriage is the basic tenet of socialization because it teaches children how to properly socialize with others. Society is based, generated, procreated on the basis on Men Associating with Women. God created, Nature devised, for all essential purposes “Adam and Eve” not Adam and Steve or Evelyn and Eve.
      We are more advanced than single celled organisms. Lets not try to dumb this down. I respect choice in relationships. But the instituition of marriage should not be corrupted or co-opted to suit the needs of the few. Especially when that few is seeking the status to enrich themselves via the avenue of spousial support rights.


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