June 28, 2011

Ode To Nice Guys Pt 2

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This is part two to my posting on Ode to Nice Guys. This is has been a particular issue of concern with men since we became civilized. I seriously doubt nice guys finished first during the stone ages, medieval times or biblical era. This is definitely a result of the renaissance period in human evolution. With all these articles telling men about what women want, when the actual truth is so different, many men have become desensitized to the notion of even trying to be a nice guy. A lot of men know first hand that women don’t want a man that won’t give them some type of drama. After all, no drama, means no conferring with their girlfriends about how bad men are. Drama also equates to relationship excitement. Women would rather date “Jerks” and experience that relationship “excitement” than focus on the true excitement of building a strong relationship with a compatible partner and winning at the game of life. It’s time to keep it real about real life issues. How many baby daddies you have, how much child support you collecting or who slings the most dope doesn’t make you a winner boo-boo.

Nice guys don’t always finish last, but pushovers do. There’s a big difference in what defines a nice man from one who lets a woman walk all over them. At this point I would be expecting the typical woman statement that “All I ever wanted was a nice guy who treated me like a queen and valued my time and emotions.” Never mind that their last 12 boyfriends were a combination of Trick Daddy, Flavor Flav, and Chris Brown. They don’t want Obama and hugs, they want Osama and thugs (but with Masters degrees and good jobs).

So are Nice Guys still “Winning”? Is being a considerate, kind man appreciated and worth it? We all know that the thug gets the girl and the nice guy gets to raise the thugs kid. However, the line between being a pushover and a nice guy is so thin that it’s hard to even notice when it’s crossed. Women are not attracted to spineless, passive men who let them walk all over them, but when does respecting their choice, supporting their decisions and seeking their input in a relationship or dating scene cross the line into pushover? Let me help you out, Pushovers are easy to spot, because usually inside the relationship they operate without a backbone and find it difficult to say “no.” Despite a pushover’s best intentions to be “nice,” in order to get women to respect them they must learn to hone and keep the nice gestures and discard all the boring and predictable gestures that allow a woman to get her way – every time.

Contrary to what most women think, some men are interested in successful relationships. Those men have a tendency to be “nice,” but not suckers. They understand the importance of balance, considering relationships are give and take, and know that making sure their woman is happy is of ultimate importance but not at the cost of their own happiness.

Here are a few ways to help differentiate if you are that proverbial push-over or nice guy.

1. NICE GUYS: Aren’t afraid to say, “no” when needed.
PUSHOVERS: Are afraid to make a woman upset in any way, even if means not standing up for themselves.

2. NICE GUYS: Compliment a woman. “Your hair looks great.”
PUSHOVERS: Obsess over a woman. “What type of shampoo do you use, so I can buy it smell you when you aren’t around?”

3. NICE GUYS: Will respectfully let a woman know when she is wrong.
PUSHOVERS: Will avoid even the most minor confrontations, apologize, and take all the blame even when it’s the woman who is at fault.

4. NICE GUYS: Are told by women, “I really appreciate the way you treat me.”
PUSHOVERS: Are told by women, “I really would appreciate you not being up under me all the time.”

5. NICE GUYS: Expect to be treated they way they treat a woman.
PUSHOVERS: Accept being treated any kind of way as long as he’s with the woman.

6. NICE GUYS: Are persistent and resilient when pursuing a female.
PUSHOVERS: Are passive and annoying and do more chasing than pursuing.

7. NICE GUYS: Are told they are “SO nice.”
PUSHOVERS: Are told they are, “WAY TOO nice.”

8. NICE GUYS: Often get the girl and finish first.
PUSHOVERS: Often get dumped and knocked out of the race.

What’s your take on this? Read Ode to Nice Guys to get a better understanding of the dilemma.

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Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. According to your list the guy described in the Ode to the Nice Guy is a pushover.

    Reply

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