August 1, 2011

Being a Dad

imageBeing a single dad is the hardest job in the world. What makes it the hardest job, you might ask? Well for starters, we have to get over the negative stereotypes and misconceptions that pervade American society about dads in general. Secondly, is this issue surrounding the absence of “Black Fathers” in the traditional family structure. Finally the growing presence of single mothers and their problems. The combination of those pretty much negates our existence in society. Mass Media doesn’t help our cause by portraying dads on TV as incompetent in the households.

Everyone, from the Who’s Who A-List society to the general public is talking about the absence of black fathers in today’s family.  According to a CNN report, “Black In America”, 1 in 3 black men will have a prison record in their lifetime; black men are 6 times more likely to go to jail than white men; currently 1 million black men are in prison; over half of the black males in America will not finish high school; 60% of African-American male high school drop-outs will end up in prison; black men only hold 3% of management positions; and finally 60% of black children are growing up without black fathers present. (research posted on The Vajazzle Monologues on August 11, 2010 by guest blogger J. Robinson)

Those statistics paint a depressing scene about one of the most important jobs in the world. For all the men that have stepped up to the plate of being a father now have this dark cloud hanging over them. We cannot look to society or school to raise our kids, that is our job as parents. Being a father is the most rewarding job that I have ever done. We work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and for less than minimum wage. We have to deal with runny noises and sibling rivalry; scrapes, cuts and bruises. We are the cheerleaders and the coaches, judge and jury. But it is worth all the sleepless nights and worrying if we are doing the best we can. But hey, we can’t complain, we get the best parking spot.

I hear my friends talk about how lucky my kids are to have their father in their life. They are not lucky I say, I am the lucky one to have them. I am doing my job AS A MAN and AS A FATHER. This is HOW MY FATHER RAISED ME, how my father showed me by example. He made it happen every day regardless of the circumstances. He never made excuses.

It is not the streets responsibility to raise our kids or show them love, it is mine. I am not laying the financial responsibility on the tax payers or the mother, that is my job. I am showing my kids the strongest possible positive presence in their lives that I can only hope will keep them from becoming a statistic later in life. Single mothers have been doing this for years but they can not do it alone. Kids need fathers in their lives.  Paying child support is not enough these days.

If you are a father and you are not active in your child’s life, I feel sorry for you. You are missing the best part of your life and your child’s life. There is no accomplishment like raising your future.

comments or suggestions – I dare you….


Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. […] post by MercXue This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← What does MOM mean? […]


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