August 18, 2011

Weave Got To Talk

image One of the things I miss most from my childhood is that the girls were real.  Real breasts and butts.  Real eye lashes.  And real hair (not withstanding some braid styles).  But since the days when KRS 1, Tupac, Biggie and The Pharcyde all got played on the radio within the same hour, and BET had grown-ups as hosts and program directors (Donnie Simpson has to be turning over in his grave.  What’s that?  He’s still alive?  My apologies.), culture and society have shifted in some very stark, dramatic ways.  One of the most grave changes in this writer’s mind has been what seems like the nearly global acceptance of hair weaves as “a good look.”

I hate hair weaves.  Aside from being a clear physical indicator of how acceptable it has become to be fake, many of them simply look ridiculous.  I know women who earn 6 figures, own real estate, have graduate degrees, and still rock weaves that look like preschoolers made them. In addition, they just scream, “I HATE MYSELF AND ALL THINGS BLAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!”  Keep it real.  Have you ever met a proud, pro-Black chick, who knew her history, quoted Sojourner and Ida B., AND rocked a blonde weave?  I can’t imagine Erykah Badu negotiating with a Korean woman over a bag of Hawaiian Silky.  Wait.  Let me close my eyes.  Nope, don’t see it.

The blame for weaves could legitimately go to European beauty standards, or to Black men who favor women with the “mixed” look, but a large portion of the blame must be assigned to low self-esteem, a low self-concept, and a desire to remove the “African” in African American.  And this is partially why I don’t think Black women have come up as much as they should–they have to set some standards.  Black women have to get to a point where they say emphatically, this is what I won’t accept in a man, and I will do nothing more than be myself o get one.  A wise woman once said to me, “whatever a woman does to get a man is the same thing she will have to do to keep him.”  She was pointing out how, when she met her husband, she wore no make up and wore clothes that fully covered her body.  They are still together, and are paragons of happiness and success.

Feel free to take or leave this advice.  In fact, let’s make it a competition.  You teach your daughter to try to look like the women on TV, to wear tons of make up, to sport push up bras and blouses that reveal so much cleavage that her nipples may as well be on sale, and of course, to wear a gorgeous, lustrous, thick, horsey weave.  I’m gonna teach my daughter to do the diametric opposite.  We’ll check back in 20 years to see who won.

Originally posted May 10, 2010 by Earpiece


Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. Question: How can a man enjoy sex when he can’t touch/pull a woman’s hair?

    Anywho, I don’t get why people give in to all the fake shit. Black girls with blonde weaves. White girls with orange tans. It’s all pretty ridiculous.

    All I know is as a Hispanic, when I take a flat iron to my curly hair, it’s for a change, not because I allow this douchebag society dictate how I should look.

    • I can agree with not letting society dictate how you should look or how your hair should be. But where does it stop? The problem is that people buy and use weave at the detriment of their own hair. They are just too damn lazy to take care of themselves and think something off the shelf will fix their insecurities.

  2. I think the majority of black women that wear weaves have a negative self image, but there is also another reason why some women wear them. I wear braids and the occasional track because my natural is very thin and lifeless. I wear them for the sole purpose of enhancing my beauty, not because I do not feel I am not beautiful without it.

    • That is an excellent reason to wear them. I was mostly talking about the ones that use it not to enhance but to replace. They refuse to take care of their natural hair and would rather buy off the rack.

      I am sure you are a very beautiful women with or without the extra enhancements.

  3. I’m just as interested in what you’re hinting at without actually writing it: there’s something wrong with BLACK women who wear weaves. I know of an Indian woman who does. I’ve seen a few white women with them. They’re clearly not doing it not to de-Africanise themselves but for some other reason.

    When I was in Chelsea a few months ago sporting my typical uncombed afro, a man complimented me on my hair, saying he could never get his to look like mine. (I’m pretty sure he wasn’t coming on to me, but … you never know.) I replied, “Sure you can. If it’s anything like mine, you need moisturising shampoo and conditioner.” Through that and other experiences I came to the realisation that we (people of African descent) don’t know a lot about how to treat our own hair. And, of course, not just our hair….

    My (dreadlocked) wife and I came to the conclusion that we need at least as much carrot as stick on this and so many other things. If we see black women minus perms, weaves, etc., we’d say, “I love the natural hair.”

    • David I am not hinting at anything nor am i saying that all weave wearing is bad. What I am getting at is that most women wear the weave because they refuse to take care of their natural. Also in most cases black women are de-africanizing themselves.
      I once had a conversation with a woman and she said “I wear weaves because men like long hair”. I like hair that looks nice. I had complimented this woman once that had a very very short haircut (tennis ball fuzz) but wore it well. It was sexy.

      Then I looked around at a un-be-weave-able chick that had tracks partially hanging out, glue exposed and she just thought they was the sugar in the shit. Not….

      I love the natural look. i think its sexy when I see a black female that takes the time to tend to their hair. How many dust bowl kids do you see running around? That is a reflection of how they are going to treat their hair when they grow up. They are already taught that its easier to buy it. I have seen 2 year olds on the 4 train at Utica with weaves and lace fronts. That should be child abuse.

      and, oh David…yes he was hitting on you. 🙂
      It’s against the man code to compliment other men on their looks and inquire if they moisturize. I hope you didn’t exchange numbers.


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